Flowers vs. Weeds : Cultivating a Positive Inner Voice

In honor of the Superbloom happening in California this Spring I was inspired to create this Flowers vs. Weeds worksheet to help students/children understand helpful vs. unhelpful thoughts. I liked the analogy of a gardener coming in a needing to weed the garden in order to help the flowers grow. In a similar way our heads get filled with negative self-talk throughout the day blocking the positive, affirming thoughts from coming through. Use this worksheet as a good exercise and conversation starter about our inner voice!

Developmental Age: 7+

Goals/Objectives: Cultivate positive inner voice, building self-esteem, building confidence and sense of self, identifying positive traits of oneself, reducing anxiety and depressive symptoms

Materials Needed: Worksheet (download below), coloring supplies such as markers, crayons or colored penciles

HOW TO: Use the analogy of what is the role of a gardener in a garden to help flowers grow. We can talk about needing to water the flowers, helping put them in healthy soil and picking out the weeds frequently so they do not overgrow the garden. Say how in a similar way there are thoughts in our brain (garden) that are like the flowers or the weeds. The helpful thoughts are the flowers we want to continue to grow and flourish. There are also unhelpful thoughts that can spring up suddenly that we have the power to pick out. Let’s fill out the worksheet together where you cross off thoughts you think are negative/unhelpful and color in the ones you think are positive/helpful.

flowers-or-weedsDownload

Let’s Celebrate Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Heritage Month

Happy AANHPI Heritage Month! This year The Federal Asian Pacific American Council (FAPAC) announced the National theme for 2024 as “Advancing Leaders through Innovation.” We are celebrating the “innovation, resilience, and pioneering spirit” AANHPI leaders have demonstrated and contributed to American culture over the year. As we strive to continue our fight for representation, safety and belonging for all AANHPI groups there is much more that needs to be done. A first step is by becoming an informed, proactive learner – below are several resources that can help jump start this process.

For therapists or those seeking mental health assistance:

Asian Mental Health Collective
Subtle Asian Mental Health Facebook Group

For those wanting to participate, donate and educate themselves

The AAPI List
Anti-Asian Violence Resources
Stop AAPI Hate
Virtual Museum Tour

aapi-filmsDownload

For those wanting to participate in events this year:

List of events happening in San Francisco
List of events happening in Los Angeles
Support AAPI small businesses

Where Are You Feeling? Art Activity

A great way to keep learning about emotions with the child/student is through identifying where in the body we may feel them! Emotions manifest for everyone differently and it is important to know where your child feels to pair effective calming strategies. This art activity is one of my students favorites and is also great to utilize around the holidays!

Literacy level: 4+

Goals/Objectives: Identifying and expressing emotions, learning physiological cues for emotions

Materials Needed: worksheet (free download below), colored markers, colored pencils, crayons, pen/pencil

HOW TO: Start with simple examples of, “Have you ever felt your tummy have butterflies when you’re nervous?” Explain how they are clues to show you are feeling something in your body. Guide the child to identify four feelings they have felt today/this week paired with a color. If they cannot come up with any I start with happy, sad, mad and worried. Remember you can draw emojis if they cannot write yet! Share we are going to be showing where we feel each emotion by coloring in the area on the gingerbread person. I have an example ready to better help my students visualize the activity.

Afterwards if you want to take this activity a step further, pair a coping strategy with each affected body area. For example, if stomach was colored in for worry a good next step would deep breathing. Or if legs were colored in for mad a mindful walk could be a great calming tool.

FUN ALTERNATIVE: After they have done this activity once, I come up with an emotions playlist and have the child color where they are feeling when they are listening to the songs.

Things to Note: I am a tf-cbt certified therapist and this activity is not a good one to start with if you know the history of the student involves sexual/physical trauma. Please e-mail me to know how to utilize this activity in a trauma-informed way and how to address potential triggers as they may come up.

where-are-you-feelingDownload

@helpfulhealer

Link in bio for worksheet! #AEHolidayForever #holidaytiktok #therapistsoftikok #childtherapy #foryou

♬ original sound – ✰ Christmas sounds ✰

Feelings Pie

I found some children I worked with struggled with the “What’s In My Heart?” activity due to its more abstract, non-directive aspect. This is an alternative I found to be just as effective and can be fun to customize around the Thanksgiving holiday. I have recently updated the Feelings Pie worksheet – I’ve included both versions for you to choose!

Literacy Level: 4+

Goal/Objectives: Build emotional literacy, identify triggers for emotions, practice appropriate alternatives to expressing emotions

Materials Needed: Pie template (or lead child to create their own), crayons, color pencils, markers, pastels

HOW TO: (similar to Heart tool) Explain that we all have different feelings that can change by the second, minute or hour which is completely normal! Help them think of a list of feelings (if they struggle with this, I have a template on hand I pull out) and pick a corresponding color for each feeling. Explain “Let’s pretend this pie is showing our feelings today.” Then I say “Show me how many pieces of pie you feel of each feeling today/this week/when ___ happened.” Afterwards I use verbal reflection to validate their emotions and tell them they can share if they feel comfortable.

Things to Note: If the child struggles with writing or is not at a certain literacy level yet, a modification is to draw emojis depicting the various feelings. If you feel child has gotten a good grasp of this tool, you can try the “What’s In My Heart?” tool!

Follow my TikTok to see a snapshot video of how I use this tool!

feelings-pieDownload

New Updated Version Here

feelings-pie-worksheet-1Download

@helpfulhealer

Another intervention as a more structured alternative to What’s In My Heart! Link in bio for full details on my blog!#feelings #arttherapy #fyp

♬ Summer – Instrumental – Devinney

Honoring Native American Heritage Month

Nov. 1st marked the start of Native American History Month.

This is a massively important month that honors the achievements, history, culture, and contributions of Native Americans. 

Just like every occasion that marks, highlights, and honors the amazing humanity of ourselves and the humans that walk into our office, it’s an opportunity to celebrate! 

Not sure how? Use some of these ideas to help get you started.

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🌈 Start meetings/gatherings/public events with a land acknowledgement:

• Identify the Native Land you are on here: https://native-land.ca/
• “It is important to understand the longstanding history that has brought you to reside on this land, and to seek to understand your place within that history. Land acknowledgments do not exist in the past tense, or in historical context: colonialism is a current, ongoing process, and we need to build our mindfulness of our present participation” – Northwestern University
• HOW TO: “I want to acknowledge that we are on the traditional territory of [nation names].”

🌈 Consider adding any (or all!) of the following books to your office to increase representation, safety, and inclusivity.  

• We Are Water Protectors by Carole Lindstrom
• Fry Bread: A Native American Fam Story by Kevin Noble Maillard
• Ancestor Approved: Intertribal Stories for Kids edited by Cynthia Leitich Smith
• Berry Song by Michaela Goade
• Still This Love Goes On by Buffy Sainte-Marie
• The Little Folk by Levi Illuitok

🌈 Follow these incredible IG accounts:

• @indigenouspeoplesmovement 
• @xalishmedicines
• @indigenousmotherhood
• @indigenousyogini 

This post was made in collaboration with Sarah Dooling, RPT-S, LCSW from HealWithPlay. You can find her here where you will have access to amazing play therapy trainings, resources, kid therapist network (shoutout Kinship Club) and consultations.

Tips for a Smoother Morning School Routine

It’s about that time of year where the excitement to start school may have started to wear off for some our kiddos. You’re having to use more effort in the mornings to get them out of bed and out the door right before the school bell rings. Mornings feel incredibly hectic and every day feels like a scramble right up until drop off. Before school mornings become the most dreaded part of your day (or maybe it already is), here are some helpful tips that could maybe make them a bit more bearable. For me, structure and preventative measures are the keys to a successful morning. And hey, if some mornings feel like you just barely made it, you’re still doing a great job getting your kids to school each day.

1. Choose a morning wakeup song. I’ve heard from kids and adults the moment they hear the words “It’s time to get up!” they immediately feel the dread. Collaborate with your kids to find a song that gives them fresh, burst of energy vibes to start off the morning on the best foot. When it is about time to wake up start playing the song in the house, just loud enough to cause your kids to start to stir. That way the first thing they hear in the morning will be associated with a positive feeling and good energy.
2. Give your kids their own alarm clocks to set a wake up time. Providing your kids with this type of agency helps them feel more motivated to take control of getting ready for school in the morning. I think we can all feel tired of our own voice saying “It’s time to wake up… go get dressed… now brush your teeth.. do this, do that.” Easing our kids into becoming more independent in the mornings gives them that sense of responsibility and ownership to get ready for school on time.
3. A successful morning starts the night before. Laying out clothes they want to wear the next day, packing up their school bag, lining up their shoes at the door, all these little tasks make a huge difference for the next morning. You can download my nighttime and morning routine visual charts here.
4. Pair your kid with a walk-in buddy to help with separation anxiety. Some kids saunter into class without even a look back to say goodbye. I definitely was NOT one of those kids growing up. One thing that can help with those drop off nerves is finding a classmate who your kid can walk into class with. It takes the pressure off of you to have to walk in with them each day and builds their confidence.
5. Identify one thing they are looking forward to. When our kids think about school sometimes all they can think about is the amount of schoolwork that is waiting for them the next day. Highlighting things for them to look forward to, even if it may just be one thing, shifts their focus from an “all or nothing” mindset. I had one student who only looked forward to playing handball at recess and that is what got them through each day. Hey, if it works, it works!

Let’s Celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival!

It’s that time of year! Mid-Autumn Festival is today, September 29th. I love the traditions that surround this holiday so I wanted to make sure I hopped on here to share some of them with you all. Mid-Autumn Festival is celebrated on the 15th day of the 8th month of the Lunar Calendar which is thought to be the day the moon is the biggest and brightest commemorating harvest time in Autumn. I personally love the decorations the most and having time to share mooncakes with my family.

1. Learning About Mid Autumn Festival: First before we dive into celebrations and traditions we need to learn all about where the Mid-Autumn Festival came from and why we celebrate it! I highly recommend these children friendly books and movie.
   –Netflix’s Over the Moon : Based on Chinese Legend of Lunar Goddess Chang’e
   –Lin Yi’s Lantern : Depicting family traditions of Mid Autumn Festival
   –Mooncakes : Shares about legends surrounding Mid Autumn Festival
   –Moon Festival : Story of a young girl’s prayers to Change’e to be reunited with family
   –Thanking the Moon : A family celebration and their gratitude towards the full moon

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2. Traditions: Celebrating Mid Autumn Festival usually involves decorating lanterns, eating family dinners and my favorite part – mooncakes. You can find mooncakes at a local Asian grocery such as Ranch 99 or Asian bakeries (85C bakery is a popular choice). Popular flavors are red bean, green tea, lotus, durian, snow skin, and salted egg yolk. I recently saw some Costco’s sell mooncakes, too!

3. Attend local celebrations: I love the way the community gathers together for Mid-Autumn Festival. Here are a few celebrations throughout California!
–Orange County Events
–Los Angeles Events in Chinatown
–San Francisco’s Chinatown Event * unfortunately this event has already passed but be on the lookout for next year’s!

Celebrating Latine & Hispanic Heritage Month

The theme for 2023’s Latine & Hispanic Heritage Month is “Todos Somos, Somos Uno: We Are All, We Are One. My first job as a social worker fresh out of grad school was working as a school based therapist in predominantly Spanish-speaking schools. It is still my favorite job that I have ever had to this day. I could not have asked for a better community to be truly humbled and inspired by. It was through this first job that I learned what cultural humility looks like, WHY representation matters and how to actually MEET families where they are at. So I wanted to come on here and share some ways we can celebrate and honor Latine & Hispanic Heritage Month.

1. Create a culturally inclusive play environment. My caseload at my first job consisted 90% of kids coming from Spanish speaking families. I looked around my office and KNEW kids would not feel 100% seen and heard based off of my own personal experience with the current toys and decorations hanging up on the walls. Here are a few additions I made to make my play space more culturally inclusive.
   –Multicultural Paper Dolls
   –Multicultural dolls/dollhouse families
   –Bilingual Feelings Posters
   –Pan Dulce Plushies

1. Share books written by Latine authors. Here are a few of my favorites for kids.
   –Bright Star by Yuyi Morales
   –Dreamers by Yuyi Morales
   –What Will You Be? by Yamile Saied Mendez
   –Octopus Stew by Eric Velasquez
   –Alma by Juana Martinez-Neal
   –Paletero Man by Lucky Diaz
2. Participate in local Latine owned businesses.
   –Los Angeles : foods, shops, local events, museums
   –San Diego : events, stores, orgs to support
   –Bay Area : cultural celebrations, food markets, good eats
   *Fully recognize this is not near a comprehensive list for all cities, states, communities. I strongly encourage you to take initiative and research Latine celebrations and businesses in your local areas!

1. Bilingual Therapy Activities. Here are a few that I have translated during my work with Spanish speaking families.
   –Family Shield Activity / Escudo Para Familias
   –Calm Down Charts in Spanish & English
   –Feelings Identification Game in Spanish & English
   –Coping Tools Handout in Spanish & English

Family Therapy Activities with Siblings

One of my most requested asks of parents is “Can you help them get along better with their brother/sister?” I absolutely love doing family therapy. There is something about working with systems and relationships that truly lights me up. Here are a few of my go-to family therapy activities with siblings. DISCLAIMER: Most of these activities work best with younger clientele and siblings ages 3-10.

1.I-Spy: You can either play this game organically – aka how you probably played as a child. Looking around the room and saying “I spy with my little eye something blue!” OR since I have been doing more telehealth family sessions as of late I like to use I-spy images or worksheets I can share on the screen. A quick google search can pull up some great ones here and here are a few I have used recently.

2.Spot the Difference: These were really popular in kids magazines I read growing up. I still love them to this day! The idea is there will be two pictures side by side and at first glance they look similar but there will be a few, subtle differences. Siblings can work together to find the differences or they can take turns. This promotes collaborative teamwork or practices the art of impulse control during the turn taking portion. Here, here and here (more challenging) are a few I have used recently as well.

3.Matching Games: To be honest these games work a lot better in person. Any matching game such as this Spiderman one or this Bluey one will work. My absolute favorite is this Feelings Matching Game by Bright Spots as it incorporates emotional literacy learning as well. When a match is made you can ask “Do you know this feeling? Tell me a time you have felt this feeling before.”

4. Back to Back Drawing: This one is a crowd favorite. I actually wrote a post about this one with all the instructions and templates that you can read here.

Grounding Techniques for Trauma

When we are experiencing symptoms of trauma which could include an out of body feeling, intrusive memories/thoughts, startle response, anxiety, irritability, our bodies think we are experiencing the trauma all over again. Grounding techniques are reminders telling ourselves we are no longer in danger. Here are a few I teach my clients and also use during my trauma therapy sessions.

1.Color Grounding.

Color grounding orients us to present time and space by paying attention to and naming objects that fall within a certain color. For example I’ll ask my clients to name everything that is a silver in their room or everything that is light blue.

2.Box Breathing.

Read this post on box breathing if this is your first time hearing about it! The basic concept is counting in fours, inhaling for four counts, holding for four counts, exhaling for four counts and holding for four counts. Try to repeat it at least three times.

3.Five Senses Grounding.

Another technique orienting yourself to present time and space. Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste.

4.Self Compassion Holds

Read my post on self compassion holds here.

5.Holding Ice

Shocking the nervous system with a change in drastic temperature can reset it. If you feel your nerves are getting overwhelming to handle holding ice, dunking your face in a bowl of ice, drinking ice cold water, placing hands in a bowl of ice, all are good methods to shock the nervous system.